Self-reminder Part 1

Stuffs that affects a person's esteem level which may lead to depression and worse case scenario is severe mental illness..

1. Someone being over friendly with you.. and at the back that "someone" talks bad about you. (To some extend you can feel your heart squeezing so bad because you were totally sincere with that "someone"). It hurts really bad.. so please don't do it.

2. Snapping or bashing on someone very close to you without confirming the truth. (Seriously this is one of the craziest thing that I have experience. I was literally shaking when someone very close to me snapped and accused me for something I wasn't even aware of). Be confirmed... like really really confirmed that you are snapping on a person for their wrong doing. If you are not confirm might as well just stay quiet or just simply confront the person nicely. Don't be selfish and hurt people's feelings.

3. No one knows what everyone is going through. But certainly everyone on this planet have PROBLEMS. Whether big or small every single person go through it. So please do not assume people don't have problems. The difference is only some people like sharing with the rest of the world and some people do not like to bother others with their problems. So always be considerate with others no matter what. 

4. If you are nice to a person make sure you really really mean it. Don't do it for the sake of "attention". Sooner or later you will lose everything.

5. Don't be rude especially with elders no matter you are right or wrong or no matter what the situation is. Being rude simply says many negative things about you. Why should you portray yourself that way?

.....

Living with Bipolarian

Everyday is unpredictable.
Everyday is unpredictable.
Everyday is unpredictable.

There are days of highs,
there are days of lows.
Highs and lows, highs and lows, 
high and lows.
They never stop. Never.

Some days lows stays longer.
Some days highs stays longer.
I prefer to be with the highs than the lows.
The lows is full of shit.
Whereas the highs is full of life.

The lows makes me sad.
The lows makes me depressed.
The lows makes me cry.
The lows makes me mad.
The lows hurts me bad. Real bad.

When the highs come, I finally get to breathe.
Breathe, breathe and breathe.
Breathe of freedom.
Breathe of happiness.
Freedom to love him the way I want.
Freedom to speak my mind.
Being loved by him..
as though we just fell in love.
The best part.

But highs does not stay very long.
It goes away after a couple of days or more.

So....

Back to sadness again.
Back to depression again.
Back to crying again.

...and then it starts all over again.

What is Bipolar?

Has anyone ever heard of Bipolar disorder?

I remembered watching Oprah - Bipolar episode few years back.. That's how I initially know about this disorder.

A person who is suffering from Bipolar disorder basically exhibit two identities. At least that is how I describe it as. Excessive happiness and excessive depressive mode. For some reason they are unable to control these two mood swings. In severe cases, they develop a pattern e.g. Mon to Wed/Thurs would be depressive mode, Thurs/Fri - Sunday would be excessive happiness mode which also known as Mania. 

In depressive episode, they tend to feel empty inside, severe depression. Sometimes (most of the time actually) they talk roughly or rudely to others for no reason. They feel extremely lazy and can sleep all day and night - always sleepy. They are easily irritated, and when triggered.. they explode like nobody else.Their behavior is extremely negative and people who doesn't know of this disorder will automatically dislike this person. This affects their relationships, work, etc. Thus, family members especially should pay more attention to the person who is suffering from this. Do not trigger them and try to give them full support. Otherwise the symptom will only get worse and worse since they have no clue about this.

In mania episode, it's the opposite of all those I said above here. Yes, the mood swings is that severe, from one end to the other end. Their voice itself tend to be softer and they're very polite even with strangers! They would be so hardworking that it's like they're moving non-stop. They sleep only for a few hours at night or sometimes they go on without any sleep and yet they are active and positive. Everybody loves this person. 

This pattern will continue from week to week, month to month, and gets worse without any consultation or medication. Hence, to be aware of this disorder is important. Anyone around us can be suffering from this and we may look at this person differently now if we are aware of it. Most cases, the symptoms goes unnoticed for a long long time.

Thankfully I was aware of this disorder and managed to diagnosed and gave awareness to somebody who is very important to me. Though it took 4+ years.

Yes, yes, yes.. I am finally relieved. I have the answer to my major problem now. I just need to learn how to deal with it and help the person to become better.

Thank You Allah.